I remember scrolling through Facebook and there was a clip of this new Netflix show called “sex love & goop.” The clip basically explained the five erotic blueprints. As I was watching this clip the first thought that came to mind was “well at least they’re actually talking about it.” Where as the church and some of our parents failed us when it came to the discussion of sex and what it truly is. Choosing to hide the concept of sex altogether instead of revealing it for what God intended it to be has done more harm than good. Instead of accepting the fact that we were created for this act and that this desire was intentionally placed within us, but it’s what we do with that desire that is the root of the problem. So now as we grew up and our bodies started changing and our hormones started to rage, we had no one to confide in. We grew up believing we weren’t allowed to feel aroused or else we would be shamed and judged for it. How can you not feel something that is in fact natural, both scientifically and biblically? How do we handle this process of waiting while our hormones and our desire is to do the very thing it was created to do? If sex was taught as a beautiful thing because it is in fact a beautiful thing, when it’s within the covenant if it was taught for what it is and not the perverse version I believe so many of us wouldn’t have fell in the trap of masturbation and pornography.

Instead of feeling like we had to hide we should have been taught that there is grace and that God would provide a way out when we were tempted (Corinthians 10:13). How can we come up with solutions if no one will admit there is a problem? In the case of our parents I firmly believe it was for our protection, but what you don’t teach your children someone else will, and majority of the time it won’t be in the way you would have liked for them to find out. If the church doesn’t talk to us and our parents don’t talk to us what happens is pornography, masturbation, playboy magazines, erotica books etc become the teachers, because they’re the only things willing to give us answers; in comes the enemy’s agenda. We get exposed to things in doses. The enemy will never just drop something in our faces, what he’ll do is feed us small portions over time to make it look innocent, harmless to spark up curiosity. Friends coming to school with inappropriate cards they found in their parent’s belongings, staying up late to watch adult swim while parents slept. This I believe was the first mistake, not speaking and choosing to let the world speak for us. (Hosea 4:1 “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge because thou has rejected knowledge”). 

It’s not enough to just tell people it’s wrong and unhealthy, we have to explain the WHY. The doors it opens and how like an addict, you’ll begin to rely and depend on it to get by whether you realize it or not. Every time you need a release, every time you’re stressed, every time you’re feeling lonely, you’ll seek after it, to give you a high. But remember, what goes up must come down. So, you come crashing down and you feel good for a moment, but nothing changes so you go back again and again. It corrupts your mind, you look at men and women as objects for sex instead of looking at them as a person. The first thought you think about is how they look without clothes. You become desensitized. Men think every woman has to fulfill this false fantasy. Both men and women feel pressured to live up to unrealistic and unhealthy expectations that are even carried into marriage. Everything is corrupted, twisted and perverse. It’s a SPIRITUAL thing, whether we accept it or not. 

 Our innocence and small minds have both been corrupt and stolen due to the fact we were shown things we had no business being shown. Don’t be fooled, if this was normal you wouldn’t have to hide it. You could walk around and tell everyone you meet that you masturbate, however it’s done in the dark for a reason. Why not keep your doors open and let the whole house hear you? Why is that whisper of shame and guilt there? Why don’t you feel the best when you finish?

Here’s the truth: it will NEVER be enough. You will always want more and your hunger will always remain. We live in a world where addiction to anything that makes you feel “good” is encouraged, but not all that feels good IS good. You’d be surprised that there are people who sell you things that never consume their own products. There are drug dealers that have never taken drugs but they’ll sell it to you, to feed off your money; the same can be said for the porn industry. It feeds and increases your addiction, to both your mind and your spirit. Maybe you think “it’s not a big deal” or maybe you think “it’s just a temporary fix” but I encourage you to take a moment and truly think about it, think about how you were even introduced, think about the effect it had or has on you till this day.  Nonetheless, I have good news, you don’t have to stay addicted or struggle with this because there is only ONE who can sustain you, and ONE that will feed your soul and you’ll never hunger again. His name is Jesus. Stay tuned for part 2.