One thing about deliverance, healing, and freedom that I learned was that it may not happen overnight. I use to ask God why doesn’t he just take this away from me. I had to understand that just because a deliverance from something did not happen immediately does not mean God is not a healer or a deliverer. Just because you don’t see immediate results does not mean all the work you’re doing is in vain or that God is not working.  Some things will take you through a process. Don’t question the process, go through it. If you want it, nothing will stop you. Something like masturbation and pornography might take time, I know it did for me. You’re removing layers, learned behavior, learned thought processes, defense mechanism, triggers and more. I had to retrain my body to not crave it anymore. Some things may be quicker but other things need to be uprooted, you need to pull until the whole weed is out. If you know anything about gardening depending on how long it was there weeds can be so deeply rooted. Not only did it take practical and logical steps but it took me really filling up my spirit and mind with things that were of above. Practical and logical steps I still take till this day. It doesn’t’t stop once you are free, you must sustain your freedom, and sustain your deliverance. Anyone can be set free but as quick as we are set free is as quick as we can go back. Sometimes, it feels like it would be easier to go back because it’s what you know, it’s what you’ve been conditioned to do. The first step is realizing that this is not good for me.

One of my favorite speakers, Dr. Myles Munroe once said, “If you can control a man’s thinking you won’t have to worry about his actions” what does that mean? Once you have a person’s mind you can be sure that their behavior and actions will always align with what you have installed. I had years of pornography, pleasing myself and perverse thinking in me, it took the renewing of my mind daily to break that. If we don’t change the way we think about ourselves, about the things we do, the reason we do them, our oppressor, nothing changes. Our minds is the first step to change. . “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8. So ask yourself this. What do you meditate on? Start finding things of positivity to think of. I had to stop watching shows that had explicit scenes because it was a weakness of mine. I had to cut out reading erotica because I could read scenes and visualize them in my mind and replay them over and over.  What are your weaknesses? What is something once you see it, hear it or think about it, it entices you to watch porn or masturbate? Cut those things out, and make those sacrifices. Even if the whole world is talking about a particular show but you know it has nudity, sex, etc don’t watch it. I can guarantee it’s not worth it and you’re not missing out on anything. It could be time to unfollow some pages on social media. Maybe you don’t watch shows but you read erotica as well, it could be time to throw away fifty shades of grey and pick up other genres. Pick up the word. You know where your weaknesses lie. I had to stop entertaining my triggers, and weaknesses. Above all else; GUARD YOUR HEART. You have to make sure you are not tampering with your own deliverance. 

I had to acknowledge that I was weak. That I could not do this by myself. If I continued to act like I had this under control or I wasn’t addicted I wasn’t creating enough room for my help to come from God. 2 Corinthians 12:9 reads  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”  I needed his strength, because if it was based upon my strength I would ALWAYS go back. I had to understand that my spirit and my flesh ARE NOT FRIENDS. One wants to serve God and the other wants to serve self. There would always be a clash and in the state that I was my flesh was winning the battles but ultimately my spirit would win the war. In my weakness, not only did I ask God to be my strength but to send those that can be a strength to me, that will be my accountability, and that would speak life into me. Venting to friends about a struggle is fine however if I have a friend that struggles with the same thing, the reality is we can’t help each other in the most effective way. We’re both in the same position, we’re both in the same rabbit hole. I needed and wanted people that were further than me in this walk, and in life. I needed people that could pull me up. Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpen iron, so one person sharpens another.” You need people that are further than you, that can reach down and help you out. May God send those people to you as he did for me. May they find you even now.  Look for outlets, podcasts, and follow people that will feed you. 

One of the main spiritual steps I took is at times I went into intense praying and fasting. There were nights I was up till 3am crying out, weeping, praying hard for my freedom. I was turning down my plate, repenting, giving, and just staying in His presence. When you fast, your flesh becomes weak and your spirit is strengthened. Your spiritual senses become heightened. Your body is focusing on more than just digesting because if we’re not working, we’re always eating. I was fasting for a reason, for deliverance but ultimately the goal of fasting is to draw closer to God, and to listen intentionally to Him. Where His spirit is there is liberty. It’s not about how long you fast but the posture of your heart as you fast. As I fasted I prayed, renounced and closed any doors that I may have opened, and severed those ties I made every time I did this act. With those steps I began to declare my freedom and speak the word over myself. As I moved in those logical steps, I had to move in the spirit as well. As you align these steps, both the logical and the spiritual, your deliverance will come but consistency is key. This process was happening in the span of months to years. Don’t be discouraged and even if you fall, get up again. Lastly, I sought out counseling due to the fact that there were traumas in me that needed catering to. Many people don’t believe that counseling is necessary and it may not be for everyone but it is a vital part if the way you were exposed was traumatic for you. It’s so essential that we dig deeper into those matters so we can start pulling at the weed. There were connections to things I needed to seek out healing for. The inner younger me was exposed to something that changed the trajectory of my life and I needed to give her the love and affection that she lacked over the years. 

You do not have to remain bound, you don’t need to keep feeding yourself this perversion. Despite what society may say, there is an agenda on our minds and we don’t have to surrender to it. May you find the strength to let go and never turn back. Know this, you are not alone, not ever. I know what’s it’s like, I was ADDICTED and I don’t use that word lightly. I’m still walking it out so I am rooting for you, praying for you, each and every one of you. Remember me when you think you’re alone. Reach out to God, trust Him, surrender it over to Him. I speak freedom over you even now, every hand that is not the hand of God has to let you go, may every void inside of you be filled with His love in Jesus Name. Go get your deliverance. The only direction from here is up.