The Silent Killers: Masturbation & Pornagraphy Pt 1

I remember scrolling through Facebook and seeing a clip from a new Netflix show called Sex, Love & Goop. The clip explained the five erotic blueprints, and my first thought wasn’t agreement—it was relief. At least they’re actually talking about it.

Because the truth is, the church and in many cases, our parents failed us when it came to conversations about sex and what it truly is. Instead of revealing sex for what God intended it to be, it was hidden, avoided, and shrouded in shame. That silence has done far more harm than good.

We were created for this act. Desire was intentionally placed within us by God but the problem was never the desire itself. The problem has always been what we do with it. Yet instead of teaching us how to steward that desire, we were taught to suppress it, ignore it, or feel ashamed of it.

So when our bodies began to change and our hormones started raging, we had no one to confide in. We grew up believing that feeling aroused was wrong that if we acknowledged it, we would be judged or condemned. But how can you deny something that is both scientifically and biblically natural?

How are we supposed to navigate the process of waiting when our bodies are wired to want the very thing they were created to do?

If sex had been taught as the beautiful thing it truly is when experienced within covenant—if it had been explained honestly rather than presented through a perverse lens, I believe many of us wouldn’t have fallen into the traps of pornography and masturbation.

Instead of hiding, we should have been taught that there is grace and that God always provides a way out when we are tempted (1 Corinthians 10:13). But how can we offer solutions if no one is willing to admit there’s a problem?

I genuinely believe our parents’ silence came from a place of protection. But what you don’t teach your children, someone else will and most of the time, it won’t be in the way you would have wanted them to learn.

When the church doesn’t talk and parents don’t talk, pornography, masturbation, Playboy magazines, and erotica become the teachers. They’re the only voices willing to give answers. That’s where the enemy’s agenda comes in.

Exposure never happens all at once. The enemy doesn’t drop something explicit in our laps—he feeds us small, seemingly harmless doses over time. A friend bringing inappropriate cards to school. Staying up late to watch Adult Swim while our parents slept. Curiosity disguised as innocence.

That silence that refusal to speak was the first mistake. We chose to let the world teach us instead. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6).

It’s not enough to tell people something is wrong or unhealthy. We have to explain why. We have to talk about the doors it opens and how, like an addiction, it slowly becomes something you depend on—whether you realize it or not.

Every time you’re stressed. Every time you’re lonely. Every time you need a release you go back to it. It gives you a high, but what goes up must come down. So you crash. You feel good for a moment, but nothing changes. And then you return again…and again.

It corrupts the mind. You stop seeing people as human beings and start seeing them as objects. Your thoughts become distorted. You become desensitized. Men begin to expect women to fulfill false fantasies. Women feel pressure to meet unrealistic, unhealthy standards expectations that often carry into marriage.

Everything becomes twisted.

This is a spiritual issue, whether we want to admit it or not.

Our innocence our undeveloped minds were exposed to things we had no business seeing. And don’t be fooled: if this were truly normal, you wouldn’t have to hide it. You could announce it openly. You wouldn’t need darkness or secrecy.

Why not keep the door open? Why the whisper of shame? Why the guilt afterward? Why don’t you feel whole when it’s over?

Here’s the truth: it will never be enough. The hunger will always remain.

We live in a world that encourages addiction to anything that feels good but not everything that feels good is good. And it’s worth noting that many of the people who sell these things never consume their own products. Drug dealers don’t have to be addicts to profit. The porn industry is no different it feeds off dependence while offering nothing that truly sustains.

Maybe you think it’s harmless. Maybe you think it’s just temporary. But I invite you to pause. Think about how you were introduced. Think about the impact it’s had then and now.

And here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to remain enslaved. There is only One who can truly sustain you. Only One who satisfies in a way that leaves no hunger behind.

His name is Jesus.

Yours, in truth

Christina